What to do if a child is lying?
“Your personality one weakness. You cannot distinguish a lie from truth. When one is young, and lie your – children is a lie, no matter how bizarre it was. But soon you’ll be a grown man. And life punishes liars without love and mercy.
What to do if a child is lying?
Children lie for the unnatural phenomenon, it would seem. Kids like cute little angels, by default, can’t lie, we think. The more we are shocked when we realize, “my baby is lying”.
However, let’s think about why unnatural and why children lie is surprising. Actually a lie accompanies us everywhere. What happens if you disappear a lie? For anybody not a secret that for peaceful coexistence in society and the family to be sincere with everyone and is always dangerous for health, if not life.
The simplest proof – try one day to tell everyone the truth: the chief methods of its management, to a spouse of the household or the football/beer/friends; neighbors about their protracted parties; friend – her next boyfriend. Much You will achieve true?
Most interesting is that art is essentially built on lies, and in medicine and in politics lie is also often occurs. Here and how the child should remain honest in this atmosphere?
Something to do with children’s lies, we must understand that it is there and why do children lie?
A lie is a deliberate misrepresentation of other people. But lies, there is the notion of untruth (falsehood, dishonesty, delusion), lies (nonsense, fiction for fun) and deceit (intentional misrepresentation, half-truths). So what we accuse a child is often a lie, and a deliberate purpose to deceive You, the child does not pursue.
Then why do children lie? Children lie for several reasons:
first, for self-affirmation. “And my daddy strongest! It can all win!”. “And my parents gave me a cool…. only he’s home and I won’t show you!”. In this lies the child expresses, on the one hand, a strong desire and concern to show that he was “not up to par”. At the heart of this child of lies – brag and thirst for superiority;
secondly, because of the fear. Very often the child is lying because he is afraid. Afraid of the punishment if you tell me about the misconduct; angry words; the grief in the eyes of parents. The child is lying “brazenly in the eye” because he is afraid of YOU;
third, in order to meet the expectations. “How are you doing at school/ music school/ section? – Excellent, teachers praise me” (and success actually is not). In this case, the child is trying to tell You what YOU want, or wants to earn Your praise. The child is lying, because he lacks Your formal attention, and he uses deception to attract;
fourthly, for the sake of profits. The child was lying to achieve walking, free time, shopping, etc.
Children lie to a certain age (approximately 3 years) and not a lie at all. Up to 3-4 years old children do not distinguish between truth and lies, because they believe in what they say. Children’s fantasy is a way to adapt to the surrounding world; this means that the child has a lively and inquisitive mind. Another thing, if the fantasy becomes obsessive and sustained, then there is a problem.
Child 3-5 years openly expresses his emotions, he is spontaneous. Besides, he had not yet developed speech, when the thought is spoken to himself, i.e. is prepared in advance. But because the child often says what is on his tongue. And there is a characteristic gesture …))
“The word is not a Sparrow. Will fly – catch”
So, children lie – this certificate is not moral, and psychological problems of the child. The emotional distress of life, fear or discord with parents, negative Outlook – here is a classic reason “why the child is lying”.
If You have wondered “why do children lie?”, so faced with this in their parent’s life. Children lie because, first, see it in your ordinary life, and secondly, there is a benefit.
What to do when a child is lying?
when assertion – in this case it is better with a touch of irony to show the child that You saw through his deception, at the same time offering a decent, honest way to get out of the situation lies. For example, ” Wow how cool! You probably want to be as strong as daddy, to protect the little ones?!”.
children lie out of fear – in this situation, do not ask stupid questions “do you…”. The reason lies You understand without explanation, take it as a given. But instead of screaming and notations hug the child (if it is small; the physical contact acts much better) or Express regret cheating (no offence!). The child wasn’t lying out of fear of punishment, never yell at him, don’t you call, don’t punish or threaten.
children lie because of high demands or for profit – in this case, the child is likely looking for Your support, care and attention, approval and praise. Thus, you can understand the reasons for deception or guile and take care of warmth for the child.
To problems with children’s lie did not arise in adolescence, begin to work more with children’s fantasies. Encourage your child’s imagination, because it is a great way to develop imagination and creative abilities of the child. Never scold or punish your child for imagination, that You form a stereotype of fear. Do not forbid the child everything, you might be tempted to break the ban, and then the need to justify (Adam and eve in Eden).
So, why kids lie:
because taught to lie, “but let’s say today that you have a headache, so the job you failed”;
because we are aiming to capitalize tangible or psychological (attention, care, love, etc.).
What to do to a child not to lie? Strengthen trust. The child will be honest with parents if: not afraid of their wrath, the possible humiliation; I am sure that will provide support, give advice and take his side; believe in the justice of rewards and punishments.
“The child must feel that parents are not just parents, friends and older siblings. Our relationships we need to build on the trust that the child initially was ready for them and wished them” (A. Ulyanov, I. Vinokur, M. Lightman. Man – small world).
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